chapter 1

 I never knew.. that when I was little it would be as difficult as other children.. why did I look at those who were happy and loved but I went through it with pain... the love that I grew since I was in grade 1 disappeared after a few months... then a man who raised me whispered and gave all his happiness, which I craved from a woman who hurt me with her own heart... then when I grew up I thought this happiness was forever .... it turns out the master has gone and let me pray alone.. .no more love and happiness to live...when I was young I learned from the lord that let the pain remind you to heal...who knows...that woman cornered me in the dark I dreamed of her hug and embrace with love...but he left me and loved my brother...i am in pain...i am lonely..life has no meaning anymore...my smile is gone...my father's lord has gone and took all my colors...and here i am..in the dark which does not well someone will understand and know .... what my journey was like ... my bloody footprints ... my heart is getting weaker ... I hope that woman can love me ... it turns out she pushed me away ... my hope even more blurry and lost... my heart was lost between pain and despair... the blows and cuts in my body didn't feel anything anymore... and only quiet and silence in my mind... like nothing was real... love is not a happy thing...sir (father) do you miss me... the little girl you love so much you have brought her heart with you.. is there a way for her to be happy again? let the woman love her (mother) like she never wanted I'm on this earth? I'm sick sir...my chest is tight with nonsense all their lip movements...come back sir....i'm in pain.☺